1 min read

Of Gearshifts that were not

Enter Wife and Me, she is practicing her driving. She has just left the highway and is entering the slower part of town. She slows for a stop light, but it turns green and she starts to go again.

Me: Okay, you're going to need to get out of fourth gear if you want to keep moving.

Engine begins heaving. She grabs the gearshift in a frantic gesture and yanks the gearshift knob off, where is proceeds to fly between the seats.

Wife: Aaaaaah!

Me: It's okay, just keep shifting, get down---

Wife: I can't! Wha?? Aaah! I need to pull over! I'm pulling over! [Me: There's no room here, just keep going.] I can't! Oh .... !

Pulls over with a clunk as the car nearly stalls.

Me: Hahahaha! It's okay. Alright---

Wife: You drive, I can't do this!


Me: (Holding the gearshift knob.) How did you manage to pull this off?!

Wife: ...

Me: Okay, well, we'll just put it on...there. See, it's fine. Now we just need to pull forward so that we can change---

Wife: No! I'll just crawl.

Wife (pregnant) climbs to the back seat like a cat up a tree.

Me: Okay...

Wife: (I am getting settled to drive out.) Um...wow, I didn't know there was a guardrail there; I almost hit it. I thought there were only bushes.

Me: Yeah.

Le Fin