Me: Okay, you're going to need to get out of fourth gear if you want to keep moving.
Engine begins heaving. She grabs the gearshift in a frantic gesture and yanks the gearshift knob off, where is proceeds to fly between the seats.
Me: It's okay, just keep shifting, get down---
Wife: I can't! Wha?? Aaah! I need to pull over! I'm pulling over! [Me: There's no room here, just keep going.] I can't! Oh .... !
Pulls over with a clunk as the car nearly stalls.
Me: Hahahaha! It's okay. Alright---
Wife: You drive, I can't do this!
Me: (Holding the gearshift knob.) How did you manage to pull this off?!
Me: Okay, well, we'll just put it on...there. See, it's fine. Now we just need to pull forward so that we can change---
Wife: No! I'll just crawl.
Wife (pregnant) climbs to the back seat like a cat up a tree.
Wife: (I am getting settled to drive out.) Um...wow, I didn't know there was a guardrail there; I almost hit it. I thought there were only bushes.